I Should Have
by All Fall Apart
Summary: Tony writes a poem, but it hurts someone's feelings. I wrote this during health a while ago. Hope you enjoy it.


**I haven't posted anything lately, thought I would do this.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS... thought it would be nice ;)**

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><p><em>I never<em>

_I never told you_

_I never told you how much_

_I never told you how much I cared_

_You were_

_You were always_

_You were always there whenever_

_You were always then whenever I needed you_

_We all_

_We all thought_

_We all thought of you_

_We all thought of you as part of the family_

_They needed_

_They need your shoulder_

_They needed your shoulder to cry_

_They needed you shoulder to cry on to feel better_

_He couldn't_

_He couldn't see_

_He couldn't see you_

_He couldn't see you like that_

_She played_

_She played jazz_

_She played jazz for you_

_She played jazz for you when you were gone_

_I should_

_I should have_

_I should have told you before_

_I should have told you before it was too late_

_You never_

_You never asked_

_You never asked a question_

_You never asked a question about why you were there_

_We needed_

_We needed you_

_We needed you as part_

_We needed you as part of the family_

_They wanted_

_They wanted your shoulder_

_They wanted your shoulder when_

_They wanted your shoulder when you were gone_

_He was_

_He was very_

_He was very brave when_

_He was very brave when he finally saw you_

_She did_

_She did it because_

_She did it because she knew_

_She did it because she knew you liked it._

_I_

_We and I_

_They and We and I_

_He and They and We and I_

_She and He and They and We and I_

_All_

_All of us_

_All of us want to_

_All of us want to say_

_Thanks_

_Thanks and_

_Thanks and we all_

_Thanks and we all love you_

"What's that?" Abby said as she walked up behind Tony.

"Nothing." Tony said quickly, trying to flip the paper over before she could read it.

"Let me see it." Abby demanded, Tony sighed knowing that arguing would be fruitless.

Abby's eyes scanned the paper as she read the poem Tony had just written. Tears started to form in her eyes. She looked over to Tony and gave him a big hug. " I didn't know that you wrote poetry." Abby whispered into his ear as she sat on his lap.

"Poetry is the way I can release my emotions without physically doing so." Tony said shrugging.

"What made you want to write this?" Abby said looking at Tony with curiosity.

"Well, um" Tony said hesitating, "today is the 7th Anniversary of her death."

"Oh My God." Abby said loudly. "I totally forgot about what today is."

"What's today?" McGee's innocent voice asked.

"It's the anniversary of the day that Kate died." Abby said quietly. McGee stopped in his tracks and looked over at them and then realization dawned.

"It is." McGee said looking sad.

"It is what, McGee?" Gibbs asked startling all of them.

"It's the day Kate died." McGee said after taking a deep breath.

Gibbs paused and looked at them, "I forgot, so who remembered?"

"It was Tony." Abby said still sitting on Tony's lap. "He wrote this really beautiful poem." Abby got off of said mans lap and handed Gibbs the poem.

Gibbs read the poem, and he read the poem again, then he handed it to McGee. Gibbs looks at Tony, "That's good, DiNozzo."

Abby hugged Gibbs "I miss her, still."

"I do to." Gibbs said quietly.

Tony looked at McGee and saw that he had tears in his eyes. Tony stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. "You OK, Tim?"

McGee looked at Tony and nodded. "The poem is really beautiful."

Ziva walked in to see Abby being hugged by Gibbs, Tony had his hand on McGee's shoulder.

"Is something wrong?" Ziva asked as she entered the bull pin.

They all jumped at the sound of her voice, they looked around. Gibbs finally spoke up, "There's nothing wrong." Gibbs walked over to his desk.

The others followed suit,Ziva looked at everyone. Abby went back and sat on Tony's lap again. Tim handed the paper back to Tony, Ziva eyed the paper.

She quickly snatched the paper up and scanned it quickly. Everyone watched, she looked up and asked confused. "Who is this about? I don't know about any person you guys were close to dying recently."

She looked at Tony, "Who was it?" Tony looked uncomfortable.

"Well," _I don't know what to say. I don't want her to think that she isn't part of our little family,_ Tony thought, "Well, It's about Kate." Tony finally mumbled.

She looked at them, realizing the date, "Oh." She said, then walked towards her desk. She started up her computer and got to work.

"Get up Abby. I have something I have to do." Abby looked at Tony confused, but got up. She went over to McGee and started talking to him

Tony bent his head as he got out a piece of paper.

_Even though it's been 7 years_

_I still remember everything about her_

_She is still in my heart_

_We all think about her every once and a while_

_It's not as hard as it was before_

_We knew she would have wanted us to go on_

_There is someone else there now_

_We all care about her a lot more then she thinks_

_We are willing to die for her_

_The other one left a gap_

_Though this new one has filled the gap_

_We all know that she will be here for us._

_I don't normally say this aloud_

_It's just an agreement that we all understand it_

_But our team is our family_

_Maybe she is gone now_

_Though we have someone_

_She is just as special_

_Thanks for filling the gap_

_We all trust you_

_We all love you_

_If you agree sign your name down below:_

_Anthony DiNozzo_

Tony put the pencil down, stood up, and handed Gibbs the piece of paper. Gibbs read it and signed it and handed it back to Tony. Tony went over to Abby and McGee, and handed it to them. They both read it and signed it.

Tony looked down, he then walked towards the elevator and went down. Tony rode the elevator down to Autopsy.

"Hey, Ducky." Tony called out. "I was wondering if you would read this and sign it if you agree?"

Ducky looked up a bit confused by Tony's question. " Sure, Anthony." Ducky read the poem and saw the signatures. "Has it really been 7 years?"

"Yeah, I wrote another poem about how much we all miss her." Tony said looking down, "Though Ziva came in and read it and realized. I want to prove to her that we care about her too."

"Of course." Ducky said as he signed it.

"Hey Jimmy." Tony said as he walked in to Autopsy. "Will you read and sign this?"

"OK." Jimmy said and he read it and signed it immediately.

Tony nodded to them and left autopsy and went back into the elevator. He looked at the bottom of the poem and it now read:

If you agree sign your name down below:

Anthony DiNozzo

Leroy Jethro Gibbs

Timothy McGee

Abigail Scuito

Donald "Ducky" Mallard

Jimmy Palmer

Tony smiled, _I hope that this makes her feel like family._ Tony stepped off the elevator and walked back over to Gibbs. He smiled and showed the poem to him again. Gibbs smiled back to him. Then the doors to the elevator dinged and Ducky and Palmer came out and came out and walked over to Tony.

Tony smiled and Abby, McGee, and Gibbs stood with the others and they walked to Ziva's desk. She looked up and Tony smiled and handed her the paper. She read it and she smiled as her eyes shined with unshed tears.

"We do miss Kate." Abby said, "But you are still very important to this family."

"Thanks." Ziva said and smiled at them.

Gibbs phone rang and he answered. He hung up and said "Gear up, we have a dead Marine in Norfolk."

They grabbed their gear and their dysfunctional family was better then ever.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it. I wasn't going to post this till the day when the episode aired when Kate died, but I forgot the date so I decided to post it now. I'm not completely sure how many years it has been, so I just choose 7.<strong>

**I hope you guys like what I did with the first poem, using things from the story to tell the story a bit. Hope you enjoyed this. :) **


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